Dear Internet

Dear Internet,

I haven't told anyone this before, but David Bowie's teeth scare me. They're all that translucent white-blue, and the gaps between them are huge black fissures. I would not want to be a bit of broccoli he was eating. Sure, most of me would get swallowed after only minimal contact with his scary Chiclet teeth, but there would always be bits of me that get left behind, trapped and rotting in Bowie's inter-tooth chasms...

The horror, internet. The horror.

Sincerely,
Christian

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